What will we do today?

At 1055 I have makeup swimlessons planned. Might need to make them up another day. 

Hail!  We've got hail!  Pea sized but I think I missed my chance to go to my car. Yay for dry tents, even if they look like a sith. 

And now a word from our sponsor:

Is there someone you want to get got? Is there someone who is just too perfect? Is there someone who you need to get a laugh from? Does your child need more punishment than just a grounding? Want to show that special someone just how BAD you are? Well, from the creators of Devil’s Food Cake on a Trident and the Hotter than Heck Air Conditioner comes from the bowls of Earth, a new product that’s fun for the whole family...its the Heck-in-a-Hand-Basket!

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Heck-in-a-Hand-Basket is a new product line from Devils We Are, designed for mischief, mayhem, and downright craziness! These small little baskets pack a big punch of different trouble for your target.

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Phonelines are open now so call 1866-666-6663 (They won’t let us have the last 6)

Laughs

There are 30 Heck-in-a-Hand-Baskets to choose from, including Wind, Rain, Thunder; Who let the Dogs Out, Lions Tigers and Bears Oh My, Plagues of Plagues, The Trees are Alive, and Apocalypse Now!

Hear what one of our Heck-in-a-Hand-Basket recipients said:

It was an amazing night, I had been asleep for an hour, when all of a sudden a strong wind hit my tent and almost blew me away. I collapsed my tent to prevent it from breaking and drove away to shelter. The next morning it was still very windy but clear out, so I left for some breakfast, only for half an inch of rain to fall. Now my tent is a pool and all my clothing is soaked!

The next day I found a note from Mother Nature saying “Happy Summer Break. Enjoy this Heck-in-a-Hand-Basket!” I think she enjoyed it more than me!

Thats right, for five extra dollars Mother Nature will hand deliver your Heck-in-a-Hand-Basket, and the receiver will never know its from you.

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Ohhhs!

Mini-Hecks are also available at ten for five dollars! Take them, toss them, and run away. All Mini-Hecks include a one minute fuse, so you never have to be caught in the eye of distraction! Don’t worry, all Mini-Hecks and Heck-in-a-Hand-Basket are child proof to prevent unwanted chaos, and child and pet safe to protect the innocent.

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Mischief and Mayhem sound too intresting, but can’t afford a Mini-Heck or Heck-in-a-Hand-Basket? Ask our representives about the Dirty Deeds Deal. In exchange for your soul to our CEO, Devils We Are will send you a Heck-in-a-Hand-Basket every week for the rest of your mortal life! Just follow the directions on where and when to deploy the Heck-in-a-Hand-Basket, and your mortal life will keep on going, with many more Heck-in-a-Hand-Baskets to come. If you miss a mission, don’t worry; our loving CEO will simply add you to our staff of Heck-in-a-Hand-Basket testers. Learn what new Heck-in-a-Hand-Baskets we are working on before anyone else knows.

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Just call 1-866-666-6663 and get yourself on your way to Heck!

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Oh I forgot to tell you! Most people avoid products like these due to the Shipping and Handling costs being twice the product, but Devils We Are is able to offer all of their products shipping and handling for free!

Cheers!

Remember, call 1866-666-6663 for a free Mini-Heck, and to order your first Heck-in-a-Hand-Basket! Call Now!

©DWA 2011

All Heck!

Just found out why I was blown over and flooded yesterday morning...Mother Nature left me a Heck in a hand-basket. Glad she helped me to clean it up in exchange for a plug! (advertising placement)
I even get to be in the commercial!
From the mobile guy with his eye on the sky: Travis

Holy Awesome Nights Batman!

Oh last night was so awesome! After 10:30 the bugs left and I was able to go swimming and do some work on my tent. Afterwords I went for a swim and was able to just float on my back and watch the stars. Looking straight up I could see the milky way and satellites flying by. Occasionally I would see a shooting star, including some really bright ones.

The air was warm but not hot, and the water was cool but not cold, and it was very tempting to just fall asleep right there in the sand, only a foot from the water line. I think I will have to do that some time.

During the entire two hours I was out there, part of the sky glowed green from the aurora, and at about midnight there were streaks of light to be seen. Before I saw the streaks I thought I saw it move more south as the eastern sky was getting brighter. Then I saw the tip of the moon rise up. It was only a half moon, but it was bright enough to cast shadows of me and the little hills of sand on the beach.

The awesomeness only lasted until about 2 am, at which point the winds went from calm to 20 mph off the lake and was strong enough to cave in part of my tent while I was sleeping in it. It was odd however as there was still not a cloud in the sky. Because of the wind I decided to collapse my tent to keep it from breaking, gathered up some bed stuff, and while shouting to myself "EVAC EVAC EVAC!", ran to the round house to sleep.

From the guy with his eye on the sky, Travis...the camping lifeguard

Bay Days

Every third weekend in July is a celebration called Bay Days. Bay Days is a three day festival at Bay view park and beach, featuring food, rides, bands, competitions, races, and a triathlon.

For me Bay Days started on Saturday morning helping out with the 5K and 10K triathlon. My main job was just telling them where to go. Unfortunately it was really hot and humid out, so standing out in the sun was not fun. Between the runs and lifeguarding, I was able to do some swimming and return a table back to our beach (Read Operation: Table).

My lifeguarding shift for the day was from 11:30 to 5:30. Knowing it was going to be very hot out, I planned to do my entire shift on the rescue board, so I could just hang out in the water, staying cool. Unfortunately a guard didn’t show due to being sick (now our second guard currently sick), so I was alone until 2:00. After the next guard showed, I was able to go have a snack of fried bread then hang out in the water on my board. Being in the water, I was constantly floating away, resulting in regularly swimming back to where I wanted to be at.

It had the makings for a good day, except for multiple rounds of teens who did not care about their safety, resulting in much yelling and eventually the calling of the police.

We have a rule about the railing. The railing goes around the dock and is made of wood, which means it is not overly strong, just a 1-by-4 piece of wood. Kids seem to enjoy jumping over and sitting on the railing. Problem is that the railing can (and has) snapped, so if the railing snaps, the sitter will fall backwards into the water. On the swimming side of the dock, falling will result in landing in the water, but run the risk of hitting the superstructure that is holding up the dock, or more likely the metal sticking out from it. On the other side, falling off is a very short trip into a few inches of water followed by going splat on parts of the old ore dock the swim dock is built on. Old wood, metal rods, and the occasional nail fill the bottom area of the deck.

Jumping from or over the railing has its own issues. If a swimmer were to collided with the rail or the rail breaks, it can injure them and cause them to fall into the water. Unlike the diving board, the other areas are not checked for being clear of debre, such as wood, rocks, and bikes, and can be too shallow for even a lifeguard with entry knowledge to be safe.

After warnings to not sit on or jump over the railing, I issued orders to leave the beach as I cannot focus on them being unsafe and keep everyone else safe. For the safety of everyone, I had to get them out of the area, and since they would not leave, we called the police, twice! The second time the officer came down he had everyone causing trouble to leave and threatened to close the dock, which would have been nice, since at that time of the day, its mostly troublemakers.

Oh, and to that one guy who talked to me that evening, I would not need anger management classes if you would just follow the rules.

Sunday was a busy, early day with the triathlon at 8 am. The first leg is a 500 yard swim, which I have volunteered for for the last three year. It is always fun to cheer on my boss in the race, however she tends to fall behind because her lifeguard instincts take over and she starts helping the swimmers falling behind and the runners and bikers who are also having problems. It was about 80 out, and the lake is running at roughly 75° right now. As with the other two years I guarded, almost everyone was wearing wetsuits. The wetsuits are normally used to keep the swimmers warm and help them float. Wetsuits are worn even in the Caribbean and Bahamas, as even “warm” water can still cool the body. The disadvantage of wetsuits is that they slow you down during the swim or transition to biking. I can’t imagine how hot they were.

After guarding the race I went to wave the runners around a corner to make sure they didn’t take the longer trail. After the race was done I had to restore the ropes for our beach. Luckily I love that job. The easy part is just swimming the rope around the buoy to the dock. The hard part is moving the buoy. It only took me one try to get it exact, but normally its a multi-trip process of diving to the bottom of the lake, pick up two concrete bricks, and walk them until I need air. Did I talk about this before? It seems familiar.

Lifeguarding started with me working with our other head lifeguard. The first two hours went as normal, occasional yelling of railing sitters and people wanting to jump over the railing, then came chaos. First the lifeguard I was with had to go play in the band. While he was playing with the band, part of the Bay Day events involved cardboard boat races. Teams had to build out of cardboard and duct tape a boat they had to use to float from the beach to the rope and back. Some boats have no chance, others are surprisingly good. One boat, built by the family of one of my swim students from last year, was amazingly strong, though lost due to team with twice as many paddlers. While built for two, after the race they stuffed four into the boat and only did a problem occur when a fifth tried climbing in and broke a support structor. It stayed afloat fine, but was now able to cave in.

After the race was done, and I was able to let people back in, though upon doing so, about half a dozen people jumped over the railing into the water. A yell at them not to stand on and jump over the railing got a reply of only “shut up” and I am sure some words which I could not hear. Another round of over the railing and I told the swimmers to leave. This resulted in yet another round of jumps, a call by me to the police to have them leave. It worked and the rest of the shift being nice...until we herd a big boom. We had a thunderstorm near us and we cleared the beach. The storm gave a nice warm rain that was pleasant to be in (minus the windows in my car left open).

Besides the rain, nature gave me “sorry about the day” with a beautiful gust front from a newer storm to the south. The gust front caused a rolling cloud wall that passed over head while I was parked at a gas station to watch it. Then later there was a nice red sunset.

From the guy with his eye on the sky, Travis...the camping lifeguard

They’re getting bigger!

Since Saterday, the weather has been less than desired. It has been cold and windy and rainy. Yesterday was the biggest waves so far, with some waves four feet tall when hitting shore, on top of a three foot rise in water level. I plan to post videos later, but even when I was there for half an hour after gettting back from swim lessons the water tops rose. When I first got back an occasional wave was going over the top of the beach and into a nearby lagoon. By the time I was done filming, every wave was going over!

From the guy with his eye on the sky, Travis...the camping lifeguard

Oh What a Night!

Last night, this morning was my first of many interesting nights to come. At about 2 am some thunderstorms started rolling across my area with extremely heavy rain and lightning. It kept me awake for a while. After the first round passed I went outside to run to the bathroom as I could hear round two comming. I could tell everything was wet but there were no leaks in my tent, my tarps protecting me from the rain and wind were still up and just as I left them. I could see the lightning in the distance where the storm went, and some where the next one was at.

This morning it got really really windy and blew my tarps off the pipes I put up to hold them in place. What was intresting was for how windy it was, there was not much wave action. This afternoon it switched: now the waves are really big but very little wind.

Weeeeeeeeeee!

Weeeeeeeeeeeee!

First thunderstorm of the trip
The tent is still dry
Now I need to go potty

I made a hikue!
I want to make another one
The rain is stopping

Hmm, a 7-5-7 and a 5-7-5 hikue...I think I need to back to sleep. How do you spell hikue?

From the mobile guy with his eye on the sky: Travis...the camping lifeguard

PS.  Just found the correct spelling 2 years and 10 days later.  It's haiku.